“George is so forgetful,” the sales manager complained to his secretary. “It's a wonder he can sell and I'm not sure he'll even remember to come back.”

Just then the door flew open, and in bounced George. “You'll never guess what
happened!” he shouted. “While I was at lunch, I met Old Man Brown, who hasn't
bought anything from us for five years. Well, we got to talking and he gave me this
half-million dollar order!”

“See,” sighed the sales manager to his secretary. “I told you he'd forget the sandwiches.”

A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that he had forgotten his false teeth.

Turning to the man next to him he said, "I forgot my teeth." The man said, "No problem." With that he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of false teeth. "Try these," he said.

The speaker tried them. "Too loose," he said. The man then said, "I have another pair...try these." The speaker tried them and responded, "Too tight."

The man was not taken back at all. He then said, "I have one more pair of false teeth...try them."

The speaker said, "They fit perfectly." With that he ate his meal and gave his address.

After the dinner meeting was over, the speaker went over to thank the man who had helped him. "I want to thank you for coming to my aid. Where is your office? I've been looking for a good dentist."

The man replied, "I'm not a dentist. I'm the local undertaker."

1. I'm really keen to work for you, I hear the drugs are good.

2. I regret that I have no references. Unfortunately, every company I have worked for has since closed down.

3. I'll kill myself if I don't get a job.

4. I know where you live.

5. Any sentence beginning with "I was recently acquitted."

6. I'm really tall, so I think I'd be well suited to this job.

7. Happy faces.

8. By the way, I understand that you have unmarried daughters.

9. I'm confident that I'll get this job. The voices told me.

Two diners at a very swanky eatery were shocked to see on the menu a dish of "hickory-smoked possum jowls in pancake syrup." They summoned a waiter to complain.

Their waiters looked at the menu. Then he threw it down and yelled to the owner in the kitchen,

"Hey, the printers forgot to translate the menu into French again!"