Teacher: "Sam, what is the outside of a tree called?"

Sam: "I don''t know."

Teacher: "Bark, Sam, bark."

Sam: "Bow, wow, wow!"

A mom and dad were worried about their son not wanting to learn math at the
school he was in, so they decided to send him to a Catholic school. After the
first day of school, their son comes racing into the house, goes straight into
his room and slams the door shut. Mom and dad are a little worried about this
and go to his room to see if he is okay. They find him sitting at his desk doing
his homework. The boy keeps doing that for the rest of the year. At the end of
the year the son brings home his report card and gives it to his mom and dad.
Looking at it they see under math an A+.

Mom and dad are very happy and ask the son, "What changed your mind about
learning math?"

The son looked at mom and dad and said, "Well, on the first day when I walked
into the classroom, I saw a guy nailed to the plus sign at the back of the room
behind the teacher''s desk and I knew they meant business."

A philosophy professor walks in to give his class their final. Placing his
chair on his desk the professor instructs the class, "Using every applicable
thing you''ve learned in this course, prove to me that this chair DOES NOT
EXIST."

So, pencils are writing and erasers are erasing, students are preparing to
embark on novels proving that this chair doesn''t exist, except for one student.
He spends thirty seconds writing his answer, and then turns his final in to the
astonishment of his peers.

Time goes by, and the day comes when all the students get their final
grades...and to the amazement of the class, the student who wrote for thirty
seconds gets the highest grade in the class.

His answer to the question: "What chair?"

On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students, pointing out
some of the rules:

"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male
dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be
fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will
be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you $180. Are there any
questions?"

"How much for a season pass?"

One night four MBA students were boozing till late night and didn''t study for the test which was scheduled for the next day. In the morning they thought of a plan. They

made themselves look as dirty and weird as they could with grease and dirt. Then they went up to the dean and said that they had gone to a wedding last night and on their

return the tyre of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test. The Dean was a Just person so he

said that you can have a retest after three days.

After 3 days they said they were ready. On the third day they appeared before the dean. The Dean said that as this was a special condition all four were required to be in

separate rooms for the test. They all agreed as they had prepared well in last three days.

The test consisted of two question with a total marks of 100.

Q1. Write down your Names. (2 marks)

Q2. Which tyre burst ? (98 marks)

One day, a teacher in a high school class was administering a test, and she
noticed that four pupils were missing.

The first one came in.

"Why are you so late?" the teacher said to him.

"Sorry, miss," he said. "I''ve been up Penny Lane."

She told him to go sit down.

Then the second pupil came in.

"Why are you so late?" she said to him.

"Sorry miss," he said. "I''ve been up Penny Lane."

She told him to go sit down.

Then the third one came in.

"Why are you so late?" she said to him.

"Sorry miss," he said. "I''ve been up Penny Lane."

She told him to go sit down.

Finally, the fourth pupil, a girl, came in.

"I suppose you''ve been up Penny Lane, too, then?"

"No, miss," she said to the teacher. "I am Penny Lane"