You might just be white trash if ...

You think "loading the dishwasher" means getting your wife drunk.

The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

You were shooting pool when any of your children were born.

Your school fight song was "Dueling Banjos."

Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can take a bath."

You keep a can of RAID on your kitchen table.

Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

The gas pedal in your car is shaped like a bare foot.

You've spray painted your girlfriends name on an overpass.

When someone asks to see your I.D. - you show them your belt buckle.

You've lost at least one tooth opening beer bottles.

You have a rag for a gas cap.

You have to scratch your sisters name out of a message: "For a good time call ___________!!!"

"Jack Daniels" makes your list of most admired people.

Redman chewing tabbaco sends you a Christmas card.

You view the upcoming family reunion as a chance to meet girls.

After making love, you ask your date to roll down the damn window.

Your house does'nt have any curtains, but your truck does.

Your junior and senior prom had a day care center.

A man should live if only to satisfy his curiosity.

A fool is his own informer.

Better a steady dime than a rare dollar.

A heavy purse makes a light heart.

A dead man is mourned seven days, a fool his life time.

Your health comes first - you can always hang yourself later.

One good deed has many claimants.

Tell an ass by his long ears, a fool by his long tongue.

Q: What is the difference between the Dresden bombing and Germany's best comedian?

A: Only the first one can make you smile.

Q: How many people fron Dresden can you fit in a mini ?

A: About 25000 if you've got a shovel

Q: What is the definition of the European Heaven?

A: British humour, French food, German technology.

Q: What is the definition of the European Hell?

A: British food, German humour, French technology.

Q: Why are so many Germans born by C-section?

A: Ever try to get a Squarehead through a round hole?

A Border Patrol agent is on duty. He spots two Mexicans and runs them down. They show him their papers (he thinks they are phony).

He tells them, "O.K. I have a test for you. I want you to use the words 'cheese' and 'liver' in a sentence."

So, the first guy says, "I made a liver and cheese sandwich for lunch."

The agent says, "That was good, you can go. What about you?" he asks the second guy.

He says, "Liver alone. Cheese mine."