Teacher: Tim, you missed school yesterday? Tim: Not a bit!

A group of young children were sitting in a circle with their teacher. She
was going around in turn asking them all questions.

"Davey, what sound does a cow make?"

Davey replied, "It goes ''moo''."

"Alice, what sound does a cat make?"

Alice said, "It goes ''meow''."

"Jamie, what sound does a lamb make?"

Jamie said, "It goes ''baaa''."

"Jennifer, what sound does a mouse make?"

Jennifer paused, and said, "Uhh... it goes... ''click''!"

The boys were playing cricket in the garden and were using a shiny new ball.

''Where did you get the ball?'' asked father.

''We found it''

''Are you sure it was lost?''

''Of course it was lost. We saw them looking for it.''

A Duke was hunting in the forest with his men-at-arms and servants when he came across a tree. Upon it, archery targets were painted and smack in the middle of each

was an arrow.

"Who is this incredibly fine archer?" cried the duke. "I must find him!"

After continuing through the forest for a few miles he came across a small boy carrying a bow and arrow. Eventually the boy admitted that it was he who shot the arrows

plumb in the center of all the targets.

"You didn't just walk up to the targets and hammer the arrows into the

middle, did you?" asked the duke worriedly.

"No my lord. I shot them from a hundred paces. I swear it by all that I hold holy."

"That is truly astonishing," said the duke. "I hereby admit you into my service." The boy thanked him profusely.

"But I must ask one favor in return," the duke continued.

"You must tell me how you came to be such an outstanding shot."

"Well," said the boy, "first I fire the arrow at the tree...

...and then I paint the target around it."

Young Larry stopped by the corner grocery store and read the following list to the clerk:

10 pounds sugar at $1.25 a pound

4 pounds coffee at $1.50 a pound

2 pounds butter at $1.10 a pound

2 bars soap at $.83 each

"How much does that come to?" asked Larry.

"Twenty-two dollars and thirty-six cents."

"If I gave you three ten dollar bills, how much change would I get?" said the boy.

"Seven dollars and sixty-four cents," stated the clerk who appeared to be irritated by all the questions.

Larry said, as he disappeared through the door, "I don't want to buy the items...that's our arithmetic lesson for tomorrow, and I needed some help with it."