The blind farmer was often taken for a walk in the fields by a kind neighbor.
However kindly the neighbor might have been, he was undoubtedly a coward.
When a bull charged towards them one day, he abandoned the blind man.
The bull, puzzled by a lack of fear, nudged the farmer in the back.
He turned very quickly, caught the bull by the horns and threw it to the ground with a bump that left it breathless.
"Aidan," said the neighbor, "I never knew you were so strong."
"Faith, and if I could have got that fella off the handlebars of the bicycle I'd have thrashed him properly."

Did you hear about the man who went into a book shop and asked where the self-help section was? The sales assistant wouldn't tell him. She said it would be defeating the purpose. simon finkelstein

Jason showed his buddy the beautiful diamond ring he had bought his girlfriend for her birthday.
"I thought she wanted a four-wheel-drive vehicle," ventured his friend.
"She did," Jason said. "But where am I going to find a fake Jeep?"

How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the psychopath.

Why do only 10% of men go to heaven?

Because if they all went it would be hell!

What did the elephant say to the naked man?

"How do you breathe through that thing?"

Two rivals over a lady met and had the following dialogue:
First man: I would have married her if not what she said.
Second man: what did she say?
First man: she said no

Three old ladies went for a walk in the park, they were suddenly approached by a man who flashed at them, two of them had a stroke - the third wasn't quick enough..

A 60-year-old man went to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor told him, "You're in terrific shape. There's nothing wrong with you. Why, you might live forever. You have

the body of a 35 year old. By the way, how old was your father when he died?"

The 60 year old responded, "Who said he was dead?"

The doctor was surprised and asked, "How old is he and is he very active?"

The 60 year old responded, "Well, he is 82 years old and he still goes skiing three times a season and surfing three times a week during the summer."

The doctor couldn't believe it. "Well, how old was your grandfather when he died?"

The 60 year old responded again, "Who said he was dead?"

The doctor was astonished. He said, "You mean to tell me you are 60 years old and both your father and your grandfather are alive? Is your grandfather very active?"

The 60 year old said, "He goes skiing at least once a season and surfing once a week during the summer. Not only that," said the patient, "my grandfather is 106 years old,

and next week he is getting married again."

The doctor said, "At 106 years old, why on earth would your grandfather want to get married?"

His patient looked up at the doctor and said, "Who said he wanted to?"