A brief synopsis... When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some these quips from our collection here at Aha! Jokes.

Lugnuts rattling in the hubcaps.

Made a career out of mid-life crisis.

Mainspring's wound too tight.

Makes a black hole look bright.

Makes predictions that make weathermen/economists look good.

Memorized every Dr. Seuss story written.

Mental software is Version 1.0 / still in beta test.

Mentally qualified for handicapped parking.

Metronome needs oil.

Might still be a virgin except for what nature did to her mind.

Mind like a steel sieve.

Mind like a steel trap -- everything gets mangled / full of mice / nothing in, nothing out / rusted shut.

Missing a few buttons on his remote control.

Missing a few catalog cards / gears / marbles.

A brief synopsis... When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some these quips from our collection here at Aha! Jokes.

Smarter than the average bear.

Smoke doesn't make it to the top of his chimney.

So boring, his dreams have Muzak.

So dim, his psychic carries a flashlight.

So dumb, blondes tell jokes about him.

So dumb, he faxes face up.

So dumb, his dog teaches him tricks.

So far gone, hard drugs push him closer to normal.

So fat, people jump over him rather than go around.

So slow, he has to speed up to stop.

So slow, we drive stakes in the ground to measure his progress.

So stupid, he tries to drown fish.

So stupid, mind readers charge her half price.

So ugly, robbers give him their masks to wear.

A brief synopsis... When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some these quips from our collection here at Aha! Jokes.

A few beers short of a six-pack / a six-pack short of a case.

A few birds shy of a flock.

A few blocks short of a filesystem.

A few bombs/melons short of a full load.

A few bricks short of a wall / hod / load / pile.

A few chips short of a cookie.

A few clowns short of a circus.

A few clues shy of a solution.

A few cold solder joints.

A few ears short of a bushel.

A few feathers short of a whole duck.

A few few cylinders short of a full re-format.

A few fish short of a string.

A few french fries / one hamburger short of a Happy Meal.

Dense as a London fog.

Diarrhea of the mouth; constipation of the ideas.

Differently clued. -- Dave Clark

Dock doesn't quite reach the water.

Does aerobics... in his head.

Does everything the hard way, like making love standing up in a hammock.

Doesn't adjust for leap years.

Doesn't consider his drive a slice unless it lands two fairways over.

Doesn't have a round in every chamber.

Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box.

Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash / cups in the cupboard / groceries in the same bag.

Doesn't have all the dots on his dice / pens in her plotter.

Doesn't have both oars in the water -- can't even find the damn boat.

Doesn't have elastic in both of his socks.